Outlines

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My laughter would fill me with colour, and my smile would make me shine. I would smile through the darkness, and I’d laugh through the pain but one day, I looked up and saw grey.
I was slipping into the darkness, and all my colours were being drained away, and yet…just yet, nobody noticed me fade.

I desperately tried to laugh, and I frantically searched for my smile but my colours…oh they faded so fast. They stripped me down and made sure there was no colour in sight.
I was cracked white paint on the walls that they built. No more laughter and barely a smile. And yet…just yet…nobody noticed the colourful girl had turned white.

No matter how much I fought to colour those walls, they strongly withstood my paint. Anything I did was thrown in my face, and they happily covered me in shame.
They trapped me with a Demon, one that they helped to create. One day I found strength to ask for their help, and yet…just yet…nobody was there to help me deal with my fate.

I stood with my outlines that had grown ever so thin…my outlines that had faded so fast. I tried to paint over the cracks in my wall, but it always dried up too fast. Still I painted and I painted and some colour came back, and yet…just yet…never enough colour to cover the cracks.

Every now and then, a painter would come passing by. Some liked the fact I was covered in cracks, and some wanted me to stay white. Others took what they could from the colour I had fought to bring back, and yet…just yet..I stayed forgiving, hopeful that one day, I’d get painted better than that.

How do you know if a painter isn’t genuinely colouring you in? How do you know if good intentions were never there to begin?

How do you know that they actually see through the thin cracked white? The white cracked paint that’s ever so dry on the wall, the white cracked paint that fills you whole. Just a weak outline of the girl I once was, and yet…just yet…I’m still so much more colourful than before.

Colour me by numbers – oh I wish that I could. I wish it were that simple but rather it’s so misunderstood. My friends bring out my true colours and so I happily hand them my brush. We colour me in as much as we can and yet…just yet I want to hand over that trust.

I tell myself no, can only trust my own hands. I’m an artwork of my own that’s never needed the touch of a man. But a few tainted strokes doesn’t mean his will be too. And yet…just yet, here I am…here I stand…with my outlines that have grown ever so thin…

Outlines so fragile, so frail and so thin…I’ve actually forgotten where I end and begin…and yet, just yet…one question remains; what if he could help…help me colour-me-in?

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Instagram: @elenipapa92
Twitter: @elenip92

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