Me Time

It’s easy to forget just how long it’s been since you had some ‘me time’ and even easier to forget just how much you need it. Whether its a day or a week just to sort things out or take a moment to breathe.

I was at the hospital this morning and was told it would last up to 5 hours and so I booked a sick day off work. Turns out the appointment was a mistake…yeah, I don’t know why either.

But it was 9am so I came home and got back into bed. God knows after yesterday’s tough day at work this ‘sick day’ couldn’t have been timed much better.

I finally got some more of that sleep I’ve been missing out on lately. Managed to tidy my room up a bit. Came out for coffee and a slice of cake to try get things in order for next week (I’m going to Malaysia baby!)

I forgot how much I like chilling in a coffee shop with my laptop, writing a post or reading a book. I forgot how much of my ‘me time’ took place in coffee shops all over London last year. I thought I just liked the atmosphere but now I realise that it really formed a big part of my relaxation methods to just lower all my general stress. Taking some time for me, getting my thoughts down on paper or simply loosing myself in a story.

It’s hard to get lost with work when life is just constantly moving. Getting into that working routine (if you can call it a routine as my hours are so varied) whilst fitting in friends and seeing my boyfriend because I now only really have weekends to dedicate to them…it all means I haven’t been taking any time just for me.

So, I’ve decided, albeit a slightly late new years’ resolution, I’m going to make sure I spend some time each Saturday, out of the house on my own just doing something that makes me happy. Whether that’s a gym session, or walking round the park with my camera (my new hobby), or just sitting in a coffee shop with my laptop or a book and letting my thoughts run wild.

I miss my ‘me time’ but I never really realised it had gone because I genuinely love seeing my friends. And now that I work, the weekends go all too fast.

So here’s too taking a little bit more time out. A step back every now and then to just sit, with a cuppa, and breathe.

Twitter: @elenip92

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Hello 2018

I’ve not really been one for New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve always found the ‘New Year, New Me’ to be slightly superficial but major congrats to anyone who fully commits to their resolutions!

However, I do like to reflect and make goals.  (Same thing, I know!!)

I was at a party again for NYE, the same one as last year and it really dawned on me how quick the year has gone and how much has damn well happened. If I try to compare 2017 to the year before, I can definitely say without a doubt that it was a lot more successful.

I passed my final degree with a distinction. I travelled solo to places I’ve always wanted to see and made more travel plans for 2018. I had some amazing times with my friends. I started my new job after graduating and met someone who makes me really happy. I’ve also made some massive steps in my recovery this year.

When I try to make myself goals or rules, I always make them too strict. When I inevitably don’t stick to them, I feel guilty and it can send me down that awful ED spiral. So, I might not be making strict resolutions this year but I’m going to try make some changes to the usual goals I would make.

Instead of losing weight, I want to exercise 3-4 times a week.

Instead of questioning if our relationship is ‘okay’, I want to learn to trust that it is.

Instead of spending all my weekends in London, I want to try visit my friends more.

I want to reduce how many coffees = ‘lunch’ and slowly increase my intake.

I want to distract myself when I’m stressed with a mentally healthy hobby.

I want to feel less insecure by tackling my insecurities head on.

I want to stop feeling like my past is going to drag me down.

The insecurities one is a big one for me. I know I’m getting less and less insecure in my relationship. I do worry that he won’t want the ‘broken one’ or that I’ll ‘never be good enough.’ He’s definitely not as much of a ‘talker’ – as in, I definitely say those three little words and some cheesy stuff a lot more…but the stupid thing is, I know that he does feel the same way about me.

Because of the relatively awful past I’ve had with guys, I look for affirmation a lot. I need to know people are happy with me and that things are going well, as if to protect myself from nasty surprises or horrible situations that might occur.

So, those words and actions confirming the words mean so much to me.

I want to work on needing less of this though. To stop looking for the signs he loves me. Naturally, if they stop all together then I may need to be concerned! But I’m only going to self-sabotage if I don’t learn to just relax a bit.

When I’m with him, it’s all perfect. But when I’m apart – that’s when the fear starts and I can get triggered. I figured I’d bury myself into a new hobby so I’ve got something just for me to enjoy on my own. Hello new camera and photography courses! I’ve always loved capturing memories and nature, being the country bumpkin that I am, so here goes!

Here’s to an even better year.

Happy New Year Everyone xxx