I think I lost a best friend today. Someone who became an unexpected best friend and yet potentially one of the best and all I’ve learnt is that our friendship was a lie.
Happy Valentine’s Day Len!
Another bad one for the storybook. Genuinely cannot say I’ve had a good Valentine’s Day ever.
We would hang out every Sunday. We text nearly every day. But then last week when I told him..yes…he’s a boy…I was about to ask for my job back and might not be able to hang every Sunday (dependent on my shifts) he stopped talking.
And I got worried. I was so concerned that there was something wrong with a best friend of mine I pushed to get through to him and he replied that because I had said I might not be able to hang on a Sunday he didn’t see the point of being ‘pen pals’.
Essentially, his response to his best friend needing to go back to work wasn’t to wonder why she needed to go back, why she needed extra cash but rather, that there was no point being friends anymore.
Ouch is an understatement. True friendship isn’t about how often you see each other but how it feels like nothing has changed no matter how long you spend apart. There’s one reason I can think of why he doesn’t see the point of staying in touch if he can’t see me…maybe he wanted me
I don’t want that to be arrogant but if that is true I’m even more hurt. Because we had an understanding that we were mates and that was it. He was dating other girls and chasing his ex and I was dating, then somewhat seeing someone, then dating again. If that’s the case, that he was only interested as there was potential (in his eyes anyway, not mine) then that really hurts because I’ve been lied to.
I’m sick of people being dishonest and using me for what they think they can get out of me. Clearly playing some long game with me. Clearly lying about his intentions.
If he had told me then I would have taken steps to ensure that the boundaries were incredibly clear. I would have never become so close to him because I, as a person, would have been scared of leading him on. Scared of hurting someone. Why am I always the one scared of hurting others and they never care about hurting me?
Because he lied I became best friends with a liar.
Because he lied I lost a best friend.
Because he lied my heart has broken yet again.